I created this site initially to pretend that I am an arts student. But surprisingly enough, I am spending a whole lot of time trying to add more stuff to this site. And not just in terms of html. I am actually adding and planning more content.
After I was done writing the first story here , “The River That Carries The Sky” , I am already working on the next story “Dear Kafka”, not to mention the amount of songs I am generating and editing to put in here.
I have not had this much fun before. I have tried to write up articles about bash scripting and Physics and stuff on my first site, but I got lazy and they never got anywhere. Some of my batchmates had once invited me to join a bio start-up , which I flunked half-way through because I was just bored.
You see, from my childhood I had always tried to convince myself that my calling was in science and mathematics. But I am starting to question that conviction. Sure , I have taken a five year science course and am flunking royally , with the uncertainty of even getting a degree (because of my subterranean grades), but I really like writing. Sure, I enjoy reading science textbooks, but I am bad at memorising stuff. And exams require memorization , no matter how you put it. I am just not good at that, and so I am bad at exams. And if you are bad at exams, you cannot get into the academia. So that path is closed for me.
I am pretty sure that , if I did not have to worry about roommates and other people bugging me , I could constantly study science. But that scenario doesn’t exist in my life. Even in the future , I do not think I will ever earn enough to make even a one room house for myself. I should probably look for some other job. Besides, even if I did learn science, it is not s if I am going to contribute anything to it. And people only care about results. Nobody is going to go out of their way to help you, because they usually have their own problems to deal with, and even if you can do something, unless you are exceptionally good, there is someone who can always do the same job better.
I accept that I do not have insane ability in any field. So I have to look for some more general jobs. That being said, from the enthusiasm that I am showing to writing “Dear Kafka” and with the rest of the literature stuff in general, I do not think I will stop writing anytime soon. I hope I survive through university (and after that, hoping my parents won’t kill me for wasting 5 years without even getting a degree. I guess I’ll have to run away from home before there is a chance of that happening.)